If you own property, earn significantly more than your partner, have kids from a previous marriage, or carry meaningful debt — yes, get a prenup. If you're both starting from zero, you probably don't. Take the six-question test below and you'll know in a minute.
You’re lying awake two weeks after the proposal, and somewhere between the venue deposit and the seating chart, a thought sneaks in: should we get a prenup?
Then the guilt follows. Isn’t that… unromantic? Isn’t it basically planning the divorce?
No. It’s planning the marriage. Here’s how to know if you actually need one — in about 60 seconds.
The 60-second test
Count your “yes” answers:
- Do either of you own a house, condo, or serious savings before the wedding?
- Does one of you earn 2× or more than the other? (resident + teacher, engineer + grad student, anything with a gap like that)
- Is there a business, rental property, brokerage account, or equity on the table?
- Are there kids from a previous marriage who should inherit what you built before the new family?
- Does one of you carry meaningful debt — student loans, a business line of credit — while the other carries none?
- Is a large inheritance or family trust expected down the line?
Scoring:
- 0 yes → You probably don’t need one right now. Revisit the list every few years or after any of these changes.
- 1 yes → Worth a real conversation this month. Cheap to do now, awkward to do later.
- 2 or more yes → Get a prenup. Not “maybe.” You have assets, asymmetry, or obligations worth protecting — and a prenup costs a fraction of what fighting over them costs.
The four situations where the answer is almost always yes
1. One of you owns property
Say you own a $400,000 house with $250,000 left on the mortgage, and your fiancé(e) moves in. Without a prenup, the equity you brought in can get tangled the moment marital funds start paying the mortgage, taxes, and repairs. In a divorce, you could be buying back your own house — at today’s value, half of it.
A prenup draws one clean line: what came in stays yours.
2. There’s a big income gap
If one partner is a first-year resident and the other is halfway to partner at a firm, your incomes will look completely different in year five. State default rules either split future earnings or let a judge decide what’s “equitable” — and judges have wide discretion.
A prenup lets you decide now how future earnings are treated, while you’re still on the same side of the table.
3. Kids from a previous marriage
This is the one people regret skipping. If your house, savings, and life insurance are the only thing standing between your kids and a roof — and a second marriage ends — your new spouse may have a legal claim to a share of it, depending on your state.
A prenup (or its cousin, a postnup) can ring-fence inheritance for children from a prior relationship. Estate attorneys will tell you it’s the single most common reason people come in their doors.
4. A business one of you built
A company built before the wedding is usually separate property — until it grows with marital money, marital hours, or a spouse who helped with the books. Valuation fights are among the ugliest, most expensive parts of any divorce.
A prenup can fix the valuation method in advance. No expert witness. No four-figure hourly fight.
When you genuinely don’t need one
Straight answer: if you’re both starting at zero. No house, no savings, no inheritance coming, similar earnings, no kids, comparable debt. A prenup would mostly protect future earnings — which is a values decision, not a math problem.
Plenty of couples in that spot skip it happily. Just re-take this test after the first house, the first big raise, or the first baby. Situations change; the test still works.
What you’re actually deciding
Here’s the part nobody explains at the bridal shower: you already have a prenup. It’s called your state’s default divorce law, and it was written by a legislature you never met — without knowing a single thing about your marriage.
Community-property states default to 50/50. Equitable-distribution states let a judge improvise “fair.” Neither of those words means what you and your partner would have chosen.
A prenup isn’t about expecting the worst. It’s refusing to let strangers define fairness for you.
How to bring it up without the fight
The couples who handle this well treat it as logistics, not accusation. Three lines that work:
“I read that we’re already covered by state law — I’d rather we pick the version ourselves.”
“It’s cheap now and miserable later. Can we spend $600 and stop thinking about it?”
“I want to make sure you’re protected too — this works both ways.”
Then do the boring part together: figure out what it would actually cost. Our cost calculator takes your state and gives you a real range in five seconds — no email, no “book a consultation” trap.
And if you’re still weighing the investment, run the numbers in Is a Prenup Worth It? — spoiler: a contested divorce costs about twenty times what the prenup does.